And Thus Begins my life again. It starts with a long dark highway drive home through a cutout strip of what used to be thick forest. There is the monotonous view of dark trees on the perifery and the lone car in front of me that announces its steady distance from me with quiet radiating headlights. This lack of stimulation on the inside of my temporary lightning-proof home stirred my thoughts and I couldnt help but think about the suburban withdrawal from social space. We get into our car, commute to work in the silent safety behind the glass, get to where we are going with no bumbling in between, do our chosen career, get back into our car and get home. There is no room or time for distraction or learning or chance occurance or strangely timed accidents that make you wonder about fate or god or synchronicity. Its like a tunnel, cylindrical and straight. the walls are the dark woods that edge the straight highway. There is only straight to look, silence to hear, unstired air to touch. There is safety and comfort inside and weirdness and choas kept outside. stifled creativity trapped outside monotony. it makes me want to scream a bit. create a small hairline crack to penetrate the walls. Add a deer, see his eyes. Add a hitchhiker, see his needs. Add something. something unexpected. something to move the sludge of experience. something to inspire.
Truth is, its not so bad. Its just different. Home in the suburbs is nice to go to. Sometimes safety is necessary. sometimes the freedom to just know whats waiting for you is the most desirable. the certainty of the constance. Its quiet here and i can sit on my front yard with budding fruit trees on a blanket under the beating blinding brilliant sun and have a picnic with my brothers and my friends.
I spent all of yesterweek catching up with people i left behind, seeing one friend that i havent in over 5 years. what a dinner that was. another old friend, a really close old friend who i lost touch with for almost 3 years. nice to see how life moves you.
I like how life just happens and the only way to keep up with it is to match it in strength and agility and momentum. Life is funny like that.
I made up a new word yesterday. Agiler. means more agile but uses less words.
1 comment:
pensive. polite. yet thought provoking. even the title encompasses your ...how do you say....fire? life? water? earth? wind? all of the above. even in your writing of the straight and narrow, you are vast and complex. you have gone far from this place of constants and constraints...perhaps so naturally and fluidly the concept of agility is an understatement. sheva without her bumbling? i cant imagine such a place. but it is all a part of you creating and contributing to the one constant you have created for yourself - your core, soul, self ...whatever youd like to call it.
i look forward to reading more. perhaps i now understand the power of a blog. agiler and more whole (in its expression of one) than once could have imagined.
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